


L'appel Du Vide

by an0neemouse



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Asshole Boss, Comedy, Crack, Dark Comedy, Demons, Depression, Gluttony, Humor, Lust, M/M, Pride, Seven Deadly Sins, Smut, Unhealthy Behavior, dark themes, envy - Freeform, greed - Freeform, sloth - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-01 09:07:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an0neemouse/pseuds/an0neemouse
Summary: Chanyeol is depressed, there's no two ways around it.  When he moves into a broken down old house on the edge of town he meets seven people who help him get back on his feet.





	1. Naps and Snacks

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure crack guys. Be prepared for dark humor and a little smut and A LOT of swearing.

Depression is an absolute bitch. It took forever for him to call it that. Depression. It’s got such nasty connotations, such a bad reputation that for the longest time he absolutely refused to call it that. He’d bat the term around in his head but would ultimately decide that he was just going through a shitty period of his life and this couldn’t possibly be depression. But that shitty period lasted three years and no amount of denial could refuse what Chanyeol knew in his heart. He’s depressed as fuck. 

They say the first step to recovery on anything is acceptance, right? So Chanyeol finally accepts it, calls it what it is, and promptly isolates himself from anyone and everyone who could possibly be inclined to help him. Brilliant. 

He gets his job to allow him to work remotely from home. After all, he can illustrate books just as well from home and ship in the pages as he could from the publisher’s office. And he doesn’t need to go to the cafe to see Kyungsoo every Tuesday. Every other Tues day will suffice. But then it becomes every third Tuesday and then it just stops all together. Dental appointments, doctor’s appointments, visits with his mother? They all get canceled and tossed on the back burner along with all the food he doesn’t eat because his stomach has decided nutrition really isn’t a thing. And then he decides to move. 

Stubbornly he packs up all his belongings by himself and steadfastly takes lonely trips in his old beat up SUV to deliver the things to his new address. If he were still actually spending time with Kyungsoo the other man would have told him the new place was a ‘horrific dump’ and ‘no amount of quiet is worth living in a haunted freaking house you dim wit.’ But although Chanyeol used to love how boisterous and bustling his apartment building is, he can’t stand the constant noise anymore and thinks his newly acquired if slightly run down old house on the edge of town will be just the ticket. 

That first night he does a walk through the house from top to bottom to make sure that everything is in it’s place and there’s no one there that ought not to be. Satisfied that the place is not haunted he locks the doors, pads upstairs to his bedroom, and promptly falls asleep. And then he sleeps – for the next seventeen hours. 

~*~

“Dude.” 

“Yeah, I see it.” Says the second. “How do you think he’s gone this long without eating? It almost makes me sick to think about.”

“I feel like I could learn a thing or two from him.” Says the first shaking his head in wonder. “And I once slept through an earthquake and a tornado. On the same day. I didn’t wake up until they pulled me out of the rubble. But I’m starting to think this guy wouldn’t wake up even then.”

“Should we try waking him up?” Asks a third, concern furrowing his prominent eyebrows. “Maybe Tao is right, maybe he needs to eat.”

“Maybe he needs to sleep, Suho.” The first says doing a little brow furrowing of his own. “He’ll wake up on his own when he’s ready.”

“No, look at how skinny he is.” Tao says pointing at the jut of collar bones just above Chanyeol’s loose pajama top. “Su’s right, he needs to eat. He can sleep again later, Yi.”

“Fine.” Yixing allows giving a little pout. “But I get to wake him up.”

“No I want to!” Yet another chimes in, barreling right up to Chanyeol’s bed and giving it a shake. 

“Damnit, Dae!” Yixing curses trying to grab hold of Jongdae and pull him back but the other is already up on the bed, bouncing about on his knees, jostling Chanyeol around so much that he begins to stir. Yixing watches with exasperated irritation. “Why do you have to take everything for yourself, huh?”

“It’s kinda what I do.” Jongdae tells him with a wink and a snotty look over his shoulder. “Now shush, he’s waking up.”

Chanyeol groans and presses a hand to his forehead. He just had the weirdest dream that there were seve- “AHHHHHHH!”

“Hey, shhh.” Yixing says stepping forward and offering what he hopes is a reassuring look to the panicked man. “It’s okay! We’re not gonna hurt you!”

“AHHHHHHH!” Chanyeol responds, not willing to calm down enough to hear the man’s words. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Suho tries with no more success. He looks at his fellows. “How do we get him to stop yelling?”

“I’ve got this.” Another pretty man with cat like eyes says stepping forward with purpose and shouldering Jongdae out of the way so that the other falls off the bed with a little cry of distress that gets lost in Chanyeol’s yelling. “Hey!” He says forcefully stepping right up into Chanyeol’s face. “Stop that!” He pulls back his fist and hits him square in the jaw, ignoring the cries of protest from his fellows. “We’re trying to talk to you!”

“Xiumin what are you doing?!” Suho gasps launching himself forward to pull Xiumin backwards and off the bed. 

“OW!” Chanyeol grabs his jaw and scrambles back on the bed until his back is against the headboard. “What the hell? Who the fuck are you guys? What are you doing in my house? Get out!”

“Do you want us to answer your questions or get out?” Another one asks, this one tall with sparkling eyes and caramel colored hair. He comes forward and perches on the edge of the bed, crossing his legs and peering at Chanyeol critically almost as if he’s a visiting doctor on a sick bed visit. 

“Kris, stop flirting.” Suho says trying and failing to pull the tall man off the edge of the bed. 

“What, are you jealous?” Kris shoots back giving Suho a dripping look. 

“That’s my job.” Jongdae pipes up from the back where he had taken himself to pout after being shouldered off the bed by Xiumin. 

“Dae, do us all a favor and shut up.” Xiumin tells him with a dark look. 

“I-”

“Guys, why can’t you just get along?” This is said by the last member of the group, a tall young man with rainbow colored hair and a cheerful disposition. He had been silent up until now but he speaks up, laying a calming hand on each person’s shoulder in turn. “Chanyeol asked us a question. A couple of them in fact. We should be helpful and answer his questions.”

“What were the questions again?” Lay asks in a tired voice, ignoring the way Tao clings to him. 

Seven sets of eyes turn to Chanyeol who had been doing his level best to become as small as possible during the conversation. But try as he might, he lacks the skills to teleport and so his tall frame remains firmly in place at the head of the bed. He freezes and swallows hard. “What- what was the question?”

“Exactly.” The rainbow haired man says with a proud smile, positively beaming down at Chanyeol. “We want to know what your questions were again.”

“Who are you guys?” Chanyeol says brows furrowed in confusion. Despite being punched by the one person, the small pretty one in the back, the others all seem fairly affable – the one sitting on the edge of the bed is even giving him looks that suggest he’d rather be doing something else other than talking. “And- and what are you doing in my house?”

“His house?” Xiumin questions with a scoff. “Sehunnie, you want to field that one?”

The one with rainbow colored hair nods and beams. “Of course, Minnie.”

“Don’t call me that!” Xiumin growls glaring at Sehun who doesn’t respond, he just smiles a little more. 

“The house is ours, Chanyeol.” Sehun says in a kindly voice coming over and sitting down next to Kris a little higher up the bed. “I mean, obviously you bought it. So legally you own the house, but it’s ours. It’s one of those logistical paranormal things, I’m sure you understand.”

The look Chanyeol gives them very clearly states that he doesn’t but they just keep on going anyway, this time Kris speaking up from where he’s perched on the foot of the bed. “As for who we are, well that’s a little more complicated.”

“Why is that complicated?” Chanyeol asks thinking this has to be the most bizarre dream he’s ever had. 

“Because we’re not exactly human.” Tao says lifting his head from Lay’s shoulder. “What is it that the last human called us?”

“Demons.” Suho supplies helpfully. “Which is probably the most accurate thing to call us.”

“Demons.” Chanyeol parrots staring around at these self proclaimed demons in horror, watching as they all nod sagely. “You’re demons. So what? Is this the part of my dream where you eat my heart and kidneys? I mean, do what you need to, just so long as I wake up.”

“You’re not dreaming.” Sehun says gently. “We’re really demons and we’re really here. This is really our house, which you are apparently now living in. But don’t worry, we don’t eat hearts or kidney’s or any other body parts for that matter-”

“Speak for yourself-” Xiumin mutters grumpily under his breath.

“We have a name.” Suho chimes in, taking the opportunity to step forward so that he’s at the front of the group. “There are some who call us sins.”

“Sins?” Chanyeol still isn’t convinced he’s not dreaming but if he’s gonna have an absolute crack dream then he might as well enjoy it. “You guys are sins. Like what-” He pauses and does a little quick counting, “You’re the seven deadly sins or something?”

“Yes, exactly.” Sehun agrees beaming. “Allow us to introduce ourselves. I am Sehun, although some call me pride.”

“I am Suho.” Suho says giving a little bow. “My sin is greed. Min?”

Xiumin rolls his eyes. “Xiumin. Wrath.”

“I’m gluttony!” Says the tall skinny one cuddled up to the sleepy one. 

“Tell him your name, pabo!” Xiumin says reaching over and popping Gluttony on the back of the head. 

“Ow!” Gluttony says rubbing the offending spot. “My name is Tao.”

“I’m Yixing.” Says the one Tao had been cuddled up against. “I’m sloth. You have some impressive sleeping skills.”

“Uh- thank you?” Chanyeol says feeling utterly bewildered. 

“Yah! Don’t forget about me!” 

“Uh- sorry- who are you?” Chanyeol turns his attention to Jongdae. 

“I’m Jongdae. I’m envy.” Jongdae says with an impish look. 

“Perfect, that’s all of us.” Suho says rubbing his hands together and turning back to Chanyeol.

“No, Kris never introduced himself.” Xiumin counters in his chronically irritated voice. “You gonna actually say something or just sit there making eyes at him?”

“Min, you are an asshole.” Kris tells him in no uncertain terms. That taken care of, he turns his attention back to Chanyeol and lets his look go warm. “You can call me Kris. I’m lust.”

Chanyeol wraps his arms around himself and scoots just a little further up the bed. There’s just something about Kris that makes him feel uncomfortable, like he’s sitting naked instead of in his pajamas. 

“Well, that’s all of us now.” Sehun says looking around at his fellows. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Chanyeol.”

This has got to be the weirdest dream Chanyeol has ever had. He slides his hand to the soft skin of his inner elbow and pinches. Hard. To his dismay, he doesn’t wake up. 

“You’re not dreaming.” Suho tells him gently. “We’re real. But don’t worry. We’re not bad demons.”

“You are literally the seven deadly sins.” Chanyeol tells him in a slightly panicked voice. How did he end up in this situation? 

“Well, yes.” It’s Sehun this time. “But we find we prefer to help people. You seem pretty pathetic. We’re gonna help you get back on your feet.”

“You’re- what?” Chanyeol doesn’t know how to compute that. 

“We’re gonna help you get back on your feet.” Jongdae repeats bouncing forward and grinning at Suho when he shoots him a glare. “Don’t worry, we know what we’re doing.”

“Well,” Kris says in a dripping voice, drawing the word out, “Some of us do, anyway.”

“You’re freaking him out, Kris.” Suho chides giving Lust a withering look. 

“You’re cute when you’re jealous.” Kris tells him with a smirk. “Don’t worry, my precious greedy baby. You’re still my number one.”

Suho opens his mouth to argue but Sehun beats him to it. “So what do we do first? Thoughts, gentlemen?”

“I think he should sleep some more.” Yixing says from the back. 

“No, we should get him laid.” Kris says quirking an eyebrow at first Chanyeol and then Suho.

“None of that matters if he is too poor to enjoy it.” Suho counters glaring at Kris. 

“Guys, you’re missing the obvious here!” Sehun says feeling like he’s forever moderating his fellows. “He needs some food. Look at him. He’s wasting away before our eyes. Tao, this one’s all you.”

“Oh really?” Tao asks eyes lighting up. “Oh goodie! C’mon, Channie. We’re gonna go check out the kitchen!”

~*~

“No.” 

“What, I just moved in yesterday.” Chanyeol says trying and failing to not feel chastised by Tao’s reproachful looks. 

“This is an absolute abomination.” Tao tells him seriously. 

“Why? It’s not dirty.” Chanyeol says looking around at the boxes. 

“There’s no food in here!” Tao exclaims face turning red. “How am I supposed to fatten you up when there’s no food here!”

“Uh-” 

“Tao, calm down.” Suho says coming into the kitchen when he hears his fellow yelling. “We’ll just order in.”

Tao chews on that for a minute but then gives a nod. “Fine. That is acceptable.”

“Good.” Suho says coming to a stop between Tao and Chanyeol. He lifts a phone up in front of himself and makes a few clicks on the screen. “Now, I took the liberty of taking your phone from the bedroom, Channie. And I thought pizza, wings, breadsticks, salad, and soda would be just the thing.”

“God you’re amazing.” Tao tells Suho with an awestruck sort of look. “Really, Su. Greed and Gluttony were made to be together. Why do you and Kris insist on being a thing?”

“Because of reasons.” Suho tells him dully but he smiles a little all the same. “You’re sweet. I’m sure Kris wouldn’t mind if you joined us sometime.”

“You guys are making me a little nauseous.” Chanyeol tells them with a twisted look. “When was the last time you were actually around a person? It’s like you have no idea how to behave.”

“Hmm.” Suho taps his lip and thinks that over. “When was it?”

“Wasn’t it 1954?” Tao asks looking at Suho for confirmation. 

“Was it really that long ago?” Suho says feeling a little dazed. 

“This house has only been vacant for three years.” Chanyeol feels the need to point out. 

“Yeah, but we only get to come out when someone needs us.” Suho explains patiently. “So the guy back then was a wounded soldier who didn’t have much will to live. We helped him get back on his feet. Now it’s your turn.”

“This is the weirdest dream I’ve ever had.” Chanyeol tries pinching his arm again but although it hurts and he’s pretty sure he’s gonna have a neat little row of bruises, he doesn’t wake up. 

“It’s not a dream.” Kris says breezing into the room. He comes up behind Suho and hugs him from behind. “We’re here and we’re gonna get you back on your feet. And Tao, baby. Get some whipped cream and you can join us any time.”

“Oooh!” Tao squeals excitedly and claps his hands. “You hear that, Channie? We’re gonna have to buy some whipped cream!”

“I’m never buying whipped cream again.” Chanyeol deadpans quietly. “There’s no freaking way I’m fueling this insanity.”

“Whyever not?” Kris asks resting his chin on top of Suho’s head and grinning wolfishly at the human. “Play your cards right and maybe we’ll even let you join in.”

“Ew.” Chanyeol says wrinkling his nose. “No thank you.”

“What’s wrong with us?” Tao asks feeling a little offended. 

“Us.” Kris answers look becoming knowing. “It’s the ‘Us’ part. He’s a one-on-one kind of guy.” He gives a little nod. “Nothing wrong with that. I can work with that.”

“We’ve gotta get him healthy before we can get him laid.” Suho says laying a staying hand on Kris’ arm. “Speaking of, I used your credit card to pay for all of this, Channie. Hope you don’t mind.”

~*~


	2. Some Restrictions Apply

“For the last time, Tao, I am not buying you whipped cream!” Chanyeol says padding away from the kitchen and up the stairs. 

“Wait! You need to eat!” Tao rushes after him in concern, grabbing hold of his arm and trying to pull him back with no success. “C’mon, Suho said the pizza will be here in just a minute! You need to eat!”

“I’m not hungry.” Chanyeol deadpans pulling his arm free and stomping to his room. “And all of you can leave!”

“We’re not leaving, are we?” Jongdae asks looking to Suho for an answer. 

It’s Kris though who answers him, bending low and pressing a kiss to the shorter man’s cheek. “No, jagiya. We’re not leaving. He’ll come around.”

“Yah!” Suho glares at the others, hands on his hips. 

“What is it now?” Yixing asks tiredly waking up from where he’s been snoozing on the couch. “Su, why are you so angry now? That’s Minnie’s job.”

“I don’t even know where to start!” Suho exclaims so angry he doesn’t even know who to glare at so he just glares at the room in general and lets his arms do a little flailing. “Tao pushed the whipped cream matter and now Chanyeol has locked himself in his room and is refusing to come out! He wants us to leave! Kris is flirting with everyone but me! And the pizza is gonna be here any minute and in case you idiots had forgotten Chanyeol is the only one who can see us! If we don’t get him back down here that pizza is gonna walk off and then what is he gonna eat? Huh? Did any of you idiots think of that?”

“I just wanna have a little fun.” Tao says in a whiny voice, sitting down on Yixing’s feet on the couch causing the other man to yell and retract his feet. Pouting fiercely Tao crosses his arms over his chest and does his best kicked puppy imitation until Yixing sits up and pulls him into a hug with both arms and legs wrapped around the other man’s torso.. 

“You’re okay, Tao.” Yixing tells him pressing a kiss to his forehead and petting one hand down his side.

“Take a breath, Su.” Xiumin tells him in a bored voice walking towards the stairs. He had been leaning against the wall in a corner watching the proceedings but he supposes he can jump in to help. “I’ll get him down here. Can’t do shit about Kris being a flirt or Tao being an idiot but I can get Chanyeol back down here.” 

“I’m not an idiot!” Tao protests from the safety of Yixing’s arms.

“I am what I am.” Kris smirks.

“Don’t hurt him!” Sehun says lurching after Xiumin in panic as the other man disappears up the stairs. 

For just a moment everyone watches Xiumin and Sehun disappear up the stairs but then Suho is rounding on Kris again. “Why are you like this!”

“Don’t be jealous, Su.” Jongdae tells him with a smirk. “That’s my job.”

“Envy and jealousy are not the same thing!” Suho tells him hotly. “And you’ll stay out of this if you know what’s good for you.” 

“You know you’re my number one.” Kris says stepping forward and getting obnoxiously close to Suho. 

“Don’t you dare touch me!” Suho hisses reaching up and pushing Kris away. “You stupid gigantic oaf! I know what I’m worth and it isn’t you!”

“You know you deserve the best.” Kris tells him calmly, not even rocking back a step. If anything he just shifts a little closer and takes firm hold of Suho’s waist, pulling him in suggestively close. “I am the best.”

“I hate you.” Suho twists a little and tries to break his grip but he’s no match for the larger man. “I hate you so much.”

“Just go fuck and make up already.” Yixing says in a sleepy voice from the couch where he’s been dozing on Tao’s shoulder, still wrapped around the thin man. 

“Yeah, Kris.” Jongdae chimes in. “Go give him a little loving so he stops being so uptight.”

“I-” Suho splutters but is cut off by Kris pulling him from the room by the hips. 

“C’mon Jagiya. You know they’re right.”

“I swear to God I will break your dick off if you try to touch me.” 

“No you won’t.” Their voices grow fainter as they disappear from the room, the door to the kitchen swinging closed behind them. 

“Not in my kitchen!” Tao protests trying to get up but held back by Yixing who’s already fallen back asleep but is startled awake by the sudden movement. 

“Tao-bear, not so loud.” Yixing complains pouting cutely. “I was sleeping here.”

“But they’re gonna defile my kitchen!” Tao whines but he doesn’t try to get up again. 

“You wanted to join them not twenty minutes ago. I don’t think you get to complain about them fucking in the kitchen.” Jongdae tells Tao settling down in one of the big over stuffed arm chairs. “Besides, you can use this as leverage to get them to let you have a little fun with them in the future.”

“Oooh! Smart!” Tao grins and settles back into Yixing’s arms, mind traveling over the possibilities. 

“I wonder how Minnie and Sehunnie are doing upstairs.” Yixing muses sleepily, shifting his head so his cheek rests against Tao’s bony shoulder. 

“I’m sure they’re fine.” Jongdae says but they all know that’s a lie. 

“I’m sure Minnie is threatening violence and Sehunnie is trying to stop him.” Tao says with a shrug that barely even bounces Yixing. 

“Should we go help?” Yixing asks but his voice lacks any real conviction. 

“I’m sure they’re fine.” Jongdae repeats. “They’ll be down soon. I just hope Suho and Kris aren’t still going at it when Chanyeol comes back down. He’ll really kick us all out if he walks in on that.”  
~*~

“So I’m the only one who can see you guys.” Chanyeol says chewing on a bite of pizza. They’re all settled in the living room with him settled on a fluffy winged arm chair and the sins scattered everywhere else. 

“Yup.” Suho says happily from where he’s settled against Kris on the big couch. “Which I guess brings us to another thing. We can’t leave this house. For the most part. In extreme circumstances we can- what’s the word guys?”

“Haunt.” Kris supplies helpfully petting one hand down Suho’s side possessively. 

“Ah yes. Thank you.” Suho shoots a smile over his shoulder at the other man. “In extreme circumstances we can shift the focus of our haunting from the house to you in order to follow you but it’s really uncomfortable for us so we really prefer not to do it.”

“I don’t get it.” Chanyeol takes another bite of pizza. It tastes about fifty different levels of amazing. He must have been hungrier than he thought. “You say haunt. But before you said you were demons and then sins. Are you ghosts? Like, what’s your deal?”

“That’s a hard one.” Sehun says pushing Yixing a little so the other man makes room for him to sit down on the opposite end of the couch from Kris and Suho. “We’re not really demons in the classic sense because we’ve never possessed anyone. And we’re not ghosts because we never were living. Sin is the most appropriate I think but even that doesn’t feel quite right. We are the human embodiment of our sins but we are not and never have been living. We simply are. We come and go from the consciousness of the person who needs us whenever they inhabit our house.”

“That’s another thing,” Chanyeol takes a swig of soda, “Why this house? What’s so special about it?”

“Absolutely nothing.” Yixing answers sleepily leaning his head on Sehun’s shoulder. “The first person we tried to help was a pious asshole. We really shouldn’t have tried at all but we were young and dumb and since that was nearly five hundred years ago it’s a moot point. Anyway, he used a mix of magic and religion to bind us. We’re not so much bound to the house as we are to an object here. We can leave but it hurts. Imagine if you will being able to leave a room but leaving your kidney behind. That’s sort of what it feels like to us.”

“What are you guys bound to?” 

“No idea.” Jongdae says with a shrug. He leans a little to the side so he’s pressed against Xiumin. The angry man looks like he wants to punch him but allows the touch. 

“We’ve gone around this place and tried to figure it out.” Xiumin says in his usual angry tone. “We’d love to leave but we can’t figure it out. Our luck the asshole bound us to a nail or some shit. We won’t be free until the damn place burns to the ground.”

“So why don’t you burn it down?” Chanyeol asks thinking that would be the simple solution. 

“Can’t.” Tao says coming over and perching on the arm of Chanyeol’s chair. “Eat some more. You’re still too skinny.”

“I’ve eaten six slices and three bread sticks.” Chanyeol protests but allows Tao to press another slice of pizza into his hands. “Why can’t you?”

“It’s one of those paranormal legalities.” Sehun answers. “It’s the pits but we’re bound by it.”

“So if I leave?”

“We’ll be very put out.” Xiumin says with a glare.

“There’d be very little we could do to get you to come back.” Jongdae tells him laying a calming hand on Xiumin’s arm. To everyone’s surprise it seems to calm the angry man. “We’re hoping you’ll stay and let us help you. We’re a little crazy but we’re well intentioned. Let us help you get back on your feet.”

Chanyeol finishes the slice he’s on and thinks that over. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t miserable. He’d moved out here so that he wouldn’t brandish his misery on anyone else, not wanting to burden his friends. But maybe- these guys are here literally because he’s miserable. They exist to help him. Maybe he should let them. “So what’s the deal? Are some of you together or what?”

“Suho and Kris are a thing although they frequently play with the rest of us.” Tao answers trying and failing to get Chanyeol to eat an eighth slice of pizza. “And Minnie and Dae are a thing, not that Min will ever admit it.”

“He’s like a fucking fungus I can’t get rid of.” Xiumin says giving Jongdae a little shove and growling low when the other just settles back against him again. “Would you date a fungus?”

“I’m not a fungus.” Jongdae says with a roll of his eyes. “And you love me.”

“I would sooner love Tao.” Xiumin deadpans. 

“A’www!” Tao launches himself off of the arm of Chanyeol’s chair and across both Xiumin and Jongdae’s laps. He reaches up and presses a kiss to Xiumin’s surprised lips before the angry man can stop him. “I love you too, Minnie!”

“Get off me.” Xiumin gives him a shove watching the skinny man roll across the floor. 

“Be nice, Minnie.” Jongdae admonishes wrapping an arm around his waist. 

“I don’t know how.” Xiumin says sullenly but he allows himself to be pulled close all the same, even going so far as to bump his cheek against Jongdae’s shoulder. 

“And what about the rest of you?” Chanyeol asks feeling bemused by the sins’ antics. 

Sehun, Yixing, and Tao all exchange a look but it’s Yixing who responds. “We’re unattached. I like spending time with Suho. And Tao especially likes being with Kris. But we’re all unattached. Free agents if you will.”

“This is the weirdest shit I’ve ever heard.” Chanyeol says with a shake of his head. He gets up and gathers up the left over pizza, bread sticks, and salad. “I’m beat. I don’t know what you guys do when I’m not around but keep the sex out of the kitchen, okay?”

“Deal.” Kris grins lecherously and presses a kiss to Suho’s neck that causes the other man to make a choked little sound. “Tao-bear. You wanna spend a little quality time with us?”

“Oooh! Yes!” Tao gets up from where he had been acting wounded on the floor at Xiumin’s feet and bounces over to Kris and Suho. “Spare bedroom?”

“Whatever.” Chanyeol can’t believe this is his life. “I’m tired. Just don’t make so much noise you keep me up.”

“You’re tired?” Yixing asks extricating himself from Sehun. “Good. My time has come. Let’s go sleep.”

“Erm-” Chanyeol shifts awkwardly from foot to foot. “I prefer to sleep alone.”

“Not gonna happen.” Yixing deadpans taking the leftovers from the human and setting them in Sehun’s lap. “Sehunnie put these away. We’re going to sleep.”

“Uh-”

“Shush and do as you’re told.” Yixing grabs hold of Chanyeol’s hand and tugs him from the room, voice disappearing as they mount the stairs towards the room Chanyeol’s claimed as his own. “I promise I won’t get up to shenanigans like Kris would. I’m all about sleep. You’ll see. You’ll sleep so well with me-”

“Guess we’ve got clean up duty.” Sehun says looking to Jongdae and Xiumin for help but they’re wrapped around each other kissing and he just heaves a heavy sigh and gets up, padding to the kitchen. “Guess I’ve got clean up duty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love.


End file.
